leftcoast's Diaryland Diary

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if winter ends

i hate when you have so much going on in your head, and you cant get it out, or let it out, you cant even find the words to write it down...and i hate when your having really nice and deep conversations with people and they mess it up, by leaving..or just not listening to what you have to say. just, ughh i dont even know, i want to think about things, but i just keep pushing them to the back of my head for another day, i read this story someone wrote, it was short, but still..it was so good.
this is a good peom.
when i ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what i asked. when i ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why i shouldnt feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings. when i ask you to listen to me, and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem, listen. all i ask is that you listen, dont talk or do, just hear me, advice is cheap 2o cents will get you both dear abby and billy grahham in the same newspaper. and i can do for myself, i am not helpless. maybe discouraged and faltering, but not hopeless. when you do something for me that i can and need to do for myself you contribute to my fear and inadequacy. but when you accept as a simple fact that i feel what i feel, no matter how irrational, then i can stop trying to convince you and get about this business and understanding whats behind this irrational feeling. and when thats clear, the answers are obvious and i dont need advice. irrational feelings make sense when we understand whats behind them. perhaps thats why prayer works, sometimes, for some people..because god is mute, and hes doesnt give advice or try to fix things. god just listens and lets you work it out for yourself. so please, listen and just hear me, and if you want to talk, wait a minute, for your turn, and i will listen to you.

4:02 p.m. - 2004-9-03

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