leftcoast's Diaryland Diary

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i think im dieing

the air tears at my skin
robbing my veins of the life
i had hoped to have.
you killed a part of me tonight
and left the frozen air to finish the job.
so now i realize
the cowardice you kept behind your bloodshot eyes
and awkward frame was calling the shots...
and i was left depleted
grinning like a retard
who thought you were there
when you had retreated.
i'm slowing down into a shallow circle
while my heartbeat fills the gaps
between sporadic and failing gasps.
i'm face down in the mud
with eyes still bruised and purple
while my heartbeat fills the gaps
between sporadic and failing gasps.
i swear on my life
that if i could take this knife out of my back, i would
but between the loss of blood
and the loss of my trust in you,
i don't think it'd do any good.

its not bad enough having one person rip you apart, but two.
i just wanted to be friends
i dont know what to do, i dont know who i can yell at, who i can tell..

Today has been
cluttered with..
broken teeth and filthy stitches
and a conscience that won't shut up
I understand that your worst is beating the hell out of my best
but I can take it
The one thing that I'll never get
is how you turned out like all the rest
but I can take it

i like how me and luke are, we are just ok friends but we can have these big conversations that are really good and in depth and talk about everything. luke is qual

12:32 p.m. - 2005-10-16

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