leftcoast's Diaryland Diary


you taste good

i think im at a very bad time in my life, and its really hard.
i dont want to go to edmonton for christmas, and i dont want to see me grandpa. i dont want to get upset seeing him, all he will do is sleep and talk about stupid stuff and sit there wasting away. people think never knowing your grandparents is hard? how about watching them die. no one wants to be there when somene dies. Its not the same like my grandma either. sure she was pretty sick but not as much as my grandpa and thats so hard because my grandpa is so much stronger and it seems like his soul has just been sucked from him and living just isnt something he wants to fight for.
i hate how feel at school.
im glad atleas me and my brother are getting close, it means alot to me. But i cant help but feel bad for him, he seems to really be struggling and hes so stressed out.
atleast friends make me happy.
ive been so tired lately. i just seem like im always trying to get caught up and even thought lately my life has been so dull and boring it still seems like theres something im trying to keep up with? maybe schools just getting to hard for me.
tonight im quiting ballet. it makes me upset but i rather not waste money on something i dont enjoy anymore.. i wish i enjoyed it, i loved ballet i dont know what it is about it..maybe cause i dont take exams? or im not making progress or the fact that i would be in grade 7 for the 3rd year because our classes are so fucked up. maybe i will be able to find another studio, and i can even start pointe again? i think it would be better when i dont know anyone cause i would try harder. i think thats exactly it, were not being challenged, i mean common julia learnt all of grade 7 from and movie and the book so she could take her exam this year.
well i have the dentist soon..i get the gas mask cause im scared of the drill

4:18 p.m. - 2005-12-06


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