leftcoast's Diaryland Diary



Dear beloved readers.

Well time really has flown by. I can't believe finals start on Monday, not only am I scared shitless but I am also a little sad.
It's weird that I will only be going to school 3 days a week next year. And it seemed bad not having any classes with the people I made friends with, but now I probably won't see them at all. Like Brooks. I hope we stay friends, especially since we aren't going to be in the same program. It's crazy how fast you can become friends though, like good friends. We already even fight! It's crazy. Well really we have only been in two fights, one was a misinterpretation on both of our behalfs, the second time was because he wasn't that nice to me. But he apologized, and I forgave him.

Nothing else is really new. I still haven't gone to dance. I haven't gone since Sindall got here, and now he has left. I don't really have any excuses anymore, I guess I just don't want to go. Tonight I did spend sometime in my living room making up dances to apologized and for the nights I can't forget by hedley. They are my all time favorite songs right now.

I am really broke. REALLY broke. Like I don't think I can even scrape out a quarter to get one of those cool gum balls. LA was so worth it though, I am really glad Maile came along. I think we get along well, and it's weird that we hadn't talked in forever then were in LA within 24 hours of speaking to each other. And it was normal.
That is going to be the closest to the hollywood dream that I will ever get, sadly enough. I still always dream that I will be a star though! haha deep down.
My dad always bugs me saying I should go to film school or be a director/writer. "You have to go to school for that" I always tell him. He says you dont have to..and I know he's right. There are alot of opportunities out there that don't require a proper education, you get to where you are yourself.
I just wish I knew how to do it.

Everything is really scaring me right now. I have no idea what I want to do or who I want to be. I'm taking these courses that I like but don't want a career in. I rather do so many other things. I rather spend the money I'm using to take art classes or drama classes. But then reality kicks in and it's like...ok but could you really make a career out of it, could you get a job.
but I would probably be satisfied. Everything is too serious in my house. All my mom is worried about is me passing school and getting ANOTHER job, yeah not just one but two. And then I get excited about things that I am actually interested in...like getting a call back about being a camp counsellor and she doesn't care.. it's just, well how much do you get paid
That is not something I even looked into..because its something I want to do for experience.
At this point it would be nice to just move away and do what ever I want. She's like this little nagging thing that sits on my shoulder. Even when I'm not around her I can hear her chattering away and it's starting to affect everything I do.
it's just really stressful

I just want to be a kid

or drop out of school. But it's like, I wouldn't be doing anything if I wasn't in school, I want an education. But I would rather take classes that wouldn't get me any where. It's a very lose lose situation and I just have no idea what to do. Why are there so many decisions to make..

The idea of going to somewhere like disneyland with someone like Nick makes me excited. I think he would be the perfect person to go somewhere like disneyland. Not only would he be just as excited as I am, but he would be game for anything.
So much fun
it would look like this
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
I miss Nick, he's a good guy. And whenever i do get the chance to talk to him..I actually get to talk to him. I talk to him more than anyone who has left, Luke, Lauren even Spencer. And I guess that says something. So thanks for actually taking some time to talk to me! haha that sounds so ridiculous because he's probably like wtf we have only talked like 5 times.
but thats more than most
so yeah

and you will never winnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
I will even poke you on the rides at disneyland!

8:25 p.m. - 2007-12-05


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