leftcoast's Diaryland Diary



William Fitzsimmons is such a powerful song writer. I can spend hours just reading over his lyrics like they are a story. I never understood songs about longing and heart break when I was younger but I definitely can now. I find a lot of truth and comfort in his songs.

Some times I find that I can take my stumbles a little to hard. I don't necessarily feel like this past situation totally knocked me down but it has definitely tripped me up. And that's hard for me because I still haven't recovered from my big spill. I really would be quite okay with things going in a good direction for me.. but I guess every situation keeps things in motion and people moving forward.

These last two months have been really great for me. Things did go my way. Now they aren't. But I guess I have to look at it as a push forward to look for the next thing to make me happy, or if things really want to work my way (currently) then it will be a push forward to make me happy with the situation I'm in.

I want to be with Josh. The more I think about the fact that he doesn't know what he wants makes me think more about how I don't exactly know what I want either. I thought I knew, but I obviously can't have that. And I'm really not sure about the other option but it will get me the closest to where I want to be.. but who am I kidding? I'm not really even sure he wants anything from me.

As much as I hate the fact that he is being nice to me right now and get irritated with the fact that he acts like he still likes me or that we are still together - I really respect and appreciate that he is making an effort to keep things good between us. He really is trying to be a friend, be around and to keep what we have open.

12:05 a.m. - 2010-06-22


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